I'm ready..

The past couple of days have been hard.

From my sister telling me I'm going to fail.

To my dad laughing in my face.

And saying that..

I'm.

Going.

To.

Fail.

At first it hurt. A lot.

Two people who I love just shoot me down and write me off as a failure.

Ouch.

But then I talked to my mom.

She mentioned something about how maybe God's testing me.

Seeing if I'm really willing to go out and live my life for Him.

Seeing if I'm ready to get hurt..over and over again. For His name.

And the more I think about it.

The more it makes sense. 

And the more I'm saying Yes God. Yes. 

I'm more than okay with not getting money..

More than okay with leaving all my personal things behind.

More than okay with maybe sometimes not having a place to lay my head. 

Because it's not about me.

It's not about my comfort zone. 

It's not about living the life people call "Luxurious."

Because to tell you the truth. 

If money buys pain and clothes that don't mean a thing.

If money takes over your mind and makes you a person you don't want to be.

Living for You God, will be all the money in the world.

Because for that one person who might be looking for an answer.

Or that one child who smiles brighter than the sun.

When they hear your name.

If one person is brought to You.

Then man oh man, bring on the Failure words.

Because I have you God, and I can get through the pain my family's words bring..Or that strangers bring.

But someone out there might be dying.

And they don't know You. 

So use me God.

In whatever You have planned for me.

Use me to call out Your name.

To anyone who might be lost.

Because it's not about me.

It's about You.